Many executives do not like to give feedback because they feel uncomfortable and do not know how to provide constructive feedback. However, feedback is extremely important for the development of individuals and teams. The Management 3.0 practice “Feedback Wraps” offers a proven “recipe” for constructive, appreciative feedback.
An uncomfortable situation
Today is not Martin’s day. He overslept because his children turned off the alarm clock. The everyday traffic jam on the way to work felt longer than usual today. Martin finally arrives at the office shortly before nine. Just in time for an important customer appointment. But when he enters the conference room the table is littered with empty pizza boxes, used napkins and beer cans. There is no time to clean up. So, he takes the customer into his narrow office and discusses his presentation on the screen. A poor idea. After the appointment, he looks for the cause of the chaos and promptly finds what he is looking for: Tom, the team leader for web development, is currently cleaning the conference room with one of his employees. Angry Martin bursts in and screams: “Damn it, Tom! I lost an important customer because of your sloppiness! Tom, on the other hand, reacts irritably: It couldn’t have been that bad! “
Feedback often leads to a communicative dead end.
Do you understand Martin’s reaction? Can you empathize with what is happening to him? In fact, Martin has every reason to be upset. Martin’s attribution of “you are sloppy” and the assignment of blame “I lost an important customer because of you” quickly puts Tom in a defensive position through which he makes it clear that further arguments on the factual level will probably remain fruitless. But how could Martin have formulated his feedback so that Tom could also accept it?
The feedback sandwich is often used as a common tool to make feedback easier to digest. The idea behind this is to pack the actual criticism, i.e., the cheese slice of the sandwich, between praise at the beginning and the end of the conversation, i.e., the bread slices, so to speak. In our example, Martin could say to Tom, “Hey, Tom! I think it is great that you create a good atmosphere here. The fact that I could not hold an important customer appointment in the conference room today because you left such a mess here bothered me a lot. Nevertheless, it is great that you are now putting things in order again. ” But what do you think? Will this give Tom the insight he wants? The problem with the feedback sandwich is that it is now well known as a rhetorical stylistic mechanism that the recipient of the feedback asks himself whether the two slices of praise are meant seriously.
Forget the feedback sandwich! Better roll a feedback wrap!
In his book Managing for Happiness, Jurgen Appelo designed the feedback wrap as a better alternative to the feedback sandwich , the structure of which follows the basic pattern of nonviolent communication according to Marshall B. Rosenberg.
Describe your context.
Begin the conversation by explaining your situation in order to gain understanding and approval from the person you are speaking to.
“Tom! I am in pretty rough waters right now. Our sales figures have fallen sharply, and I urgently need to acquire new customers.
Share your observations.
Limit yourself to specific situations that you have perceived. Avoid evaluations and attributions.
“This morning I found the conference room untidy. There were empty pizza boxes and beer cans on the tables. “
Express your feelings.
Let the other person know what this observation triggers in you. Be mindful of what moves you without blaming anyone.
“I was surprised and I panicked somehow, as we were about to meet with an important customer at this meeting room.”
Point out which of your values this violates.
Explain your needs, as this may not be obvious to the other person.
“It is important in general how we present our company to customers. I don’t think it was a good idea to give the presentation on the screen in my cramped office. “
End with suggestions.
Give the other person room to improve the situation and close the gap between the facts and your needs. Feel free to make suggestions.
“I wish we could find a way to improve the situation. In the future, how about if you let me know beforehand if something like this happens again so that I can book another room !? “
Listen to.
And finally: Listen carefully to the person you are speaking to, how they perceived the situation and what suggestions are being made. In our example, Tom might react like this: “Oh, Martin. I am sorry! I did not mean to sabotage your customer appointment. I promise it won’t happen again! “
My empiric learning about the feedback wrap
I personally appreciate the feedback Wrap technic to structure and provide constructive feedback. It gives generally really good results. I appreciate also, combining it, when possible, with empathy to the other. Making sure, I understand their context, perceptions, needs and feelings also. It is definitely a powerful tool to use by any person and especially by managers, coaches, facilitators. Thank you Jurgen Appelo for the feedback wrap!
MORE YOU KNOW, MORE YOU GROW :
To know more about this practice, you could find more details here: management30: feedback-wrap
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